Horror Queen Seduction
                                          (Jennifer Love Hewitt)


                                               
There she is yelling for help as she meets her doomed fate,
                                   That vibrant cheesy horror beauty that I hope to one day date,
                                She first became noticed in that angst ridden whip "Party of Five".
                                    About some cursed, depressed family struggling to stay alive,
                    But soon her stardom and fame would grow much bigger and blindingly brighter,
                      In the classic 'I Still Recall What You Participated in Two Summers Prior',
                        There are those who say she's merely a beautifully typecasted 1 trick pony,
                          However that's fine with me if the trick is making all of us really horny,
                                She's also so much more than just a loud and obnoxious screamer,
                                But I do hope she's been naughty so I can cleanse and redeem her,
                           So perfect is she that my furniture and Mercury Cougar I would gladly levy,
                           Just to sneak a peek at those 2 diary makers that even Borden would envy,
                           However, if for some odd reason my dream becomes painfully unrealistic,
                                Then plan B is to drive to Luby's packing heat and go totally ballistic.

                                                                                      
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